It was a few years ago, in Northern Ontario, around 1991. I had a lot of spare time on my hands and not much to do in that remote area of Canada. My mind was working overtime, thinking about wheelchairs, braces, being tied up (I didn't know at the time it was called bondage), and I had a flash of curiosity cross my mind. It was nothing I had heard of before, nor seen anywhere.
I wondered what it would feel like to wear and wet diapers. I had no desires to be treated as a baby, as some people enjoy, I just wanted to know again the warm feeling. Of course, now one may debate that my submissive feelings in a D/s relationship are closely related to the ones an Adult Baby may have towards his Mother ("adoptive" that is).
So one day I went to the drugstore and bought a sampler package of diapers. They weren't full briefs type diapers, just a rectangle of lined plastic, held together at the waist by elastic straps. There were two of them and they were an odd turquoise color, a little like some hospital shades of green. I remember vividly going to the cash register and feeling my heart beat... But there was no reason for it, I had a story ready... "I was buying it for an aunt visiting from xyz". I half walked, half ran home, which wasn't all that far, perhaps two corners away.
When I arrived into my apartment, I ripped opened the package and looked at my purchase. I think I still had my winter coat on... I examined it under all angles, not quite sure it would do the trick. Finally, I stripped and placed the diapers on my bed, sitting, and then lying on it. I fastened it with the enclosed straps. It didn't feel right. It was really loose, but it was better than nothing. Of course, by that time, I had a monster erection that didn't help the comfortable feelings at all.
After some time, my hardness abated and it became a little more comfortable in the smallish diaper. I had to go, but I could not seem to be able to convince my mind to let go and release it. It was almost painful attempting to push the urine out with my internal muscles. But I eventually managed to let go. That's when I got worried that it wouldn't hold what I had to evacuate. So I ran to the bathroom. I stopped half way through, as I was feeling a trickle going down my leg... I removed the diaper and finished over the toilet bowl, just I would have usually done.
My interest remained neutral from then on, for about a month or so, but then I came across a sampler package of full briefs... I couldn't let that pass by without trying it... So I bought it, brought it home and put it on. Again, I was having some kind of a reaction "down below". This time it was really uncomfortable, because when I had put the diaper on, my penis was at rest and then it was very restricted in its move upward. I put my hand right in and rectified the positioning, and that was fine.
I used that diaper, and again it took some hard work to convince my brain it was OK to let go... I wore the wet diaper for few hours and thoroughly enjoyed the feeling, so I just felt I had to buy a whole package of them. Which I did, not without some major embarrassed feelings... Especially that the cashier was a very cute red head, with all kinds of freckles and a smile to light the heart of darkness. I could only think of what she was thinking. She was very nice and didn't comment at all, put the package in a huge plastic bag that wasn't quite opaque enough to my liking... Now that I look back, she probably couldn't have cared less about who I was buying those for, nor why...
I was doing a lot of driving at that time, going between Toronto and Northern Ontario, a seventeen hours drive. So I put the diaper package in the car and put one diaper on and drove down. I remembered tea was a diuretic, so I bought a two litres bottle of iced tea and wolfed that down within about 45 minutes... I wanted my bladder to be sooo full it wouldn't object to being emptied while I was seated in my car... Of course, it wasn't that easy...
I definitely didn't want to release it's contents while I was seated in the car... I had to stop, get out of the car, stand beside it and then it would somehow decide to go. Very strange to feel that warm pee run down inside your pants, even though you know it won't go anywhere... Once, I had to go all the way to a gas station, walk into the bathroom, and stand in front of the urinal before I was able to go... It was very bad, because my bladder was so full it was ready to burst, but it would not go in the diaper, no Ma'am.
Slowly, I trained myself to be able to let go when I was wearing diapers. I still found it rather uncomfortable at times, because of those erections that would have no real place to go, but it was a very pleasant feeling all in all. I was wearing the diapers at home, but I also experienced wearing them at work. I was lucky enough that I was living on my work premises, so I could easily go back to my apartment and change whenever I felt the need to. Of course, I would not wear the diapers long enough that they would become over saturated. The last thing I needed was to be discovered.
I then moved to another job, and it became harder to wear the diapers at work, since I had to change in a big change room, with all the other guys. That's when I started wearing the diapers when I was going to the mall. I went back to having to change in public washrooms... That is always a nerve racking experience. I was afraid of being seen through the little (or not so little) cracks between the door and the frame. I was afraid that people would hear the crinkling of the plastic. I was also afraid of that when I was walking around. I tried many different pair of pants and came to the conclusion that a boxer short over the diapers, then a pair of Levy's 501 jeans were the best to cut on friction noise. And with a sweater on top, there wouldn't be much of a bulge to show... Just like if I had gained a few pounds.
Today, I wear diapers quite often, at home mostly. But I also wear them at school (I went back to school for a management course). I had a pair on yesterday and I somehow had to stay longer than usual and I had not brought a change. I was scared that I would leak, but luckily I didn't. I was soaked however when I arrived home last night... I love this feeling... Seeing that the experience was a success yesterday, I did it again today, but this time, for some unknown reason, I actually sprung a leak. I could feel a little dampness around my crotch area, *outside* of the diaper... I was seated at my desk, while the prof was talking. I put a hand down and lifted a buttcheek a little, and horror, it was damp. I could just see it, two damp dark spots on each side, where the diaper finishes, on my paler and faded blue jeans. There were people in front of me, and in my back. I could not just get up at the end of class and grab my coat without turning my back on *someone*. Someone that could then see my wet bottom.
When class was finally over, I waited a little bit and managed to go to the coat hanger and retrieve mine. I promptly put it on, as it was a little longer and would half hide my damp spots. I was saved... but once more, I had no change, so I had to drive home soaked. I really don't know what I would have told my classmate had they seen what had happened and asked about it.
I am now home, back from school, I changed from the wet diaper into a new pair, and have just wet this one too. It can wait a little before I change myself...
So, now you know how I started to wear diapers... I am looking forward to the day I will be able to wear them with someone that knows about them. To be changed and cleaned by a loving woman, though I have no real desire to be babied. I also have those fantasies where I would be forced to wear only diapers for a certain length of time, including for bowel release. I probably could go on and on about all this, but I think time has come to stop. So I will stop here. I hope you appreciated this.