Chris's Times in Hospital

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Chris's Times in Hospital

2008-05-17 17:40:18

Chris laid on the hospital bed in the side room remembering how he had gotten here and the stages that led up to this. He remembered that his Mom had been in hospital a lot when he was a kid and he'd been looked after by his gran. His mother had had slipped discs and, in those days, the treatment was traction and complete bed rest for months. It hadn't worked, of course, and his mother had had a laminectomy to remove the damaged discs. That had meant more being looked after by gran. His mother had also had 'women's problems' which had caused he to be in hospital even more. He'd been taken to visit her regularly. He'd been in hospital for ENT problems as a younger child and had come to look to nurses to 'mother' him as his Mom certainly hadn't. His Mom had talked about the enemas she'd had in his presence and also being catheterized. He'd wondered what it was like to have an enema or a catheter. He wanted to be in hospital himself as he'd be cared for there.

The family had medical books at home of the 'Every Home's Doctor' type. He read about enemas and tried to work out how to give them to himself. He got hold of plastic tubing which would fit on the top of a washing up liquid bottle. When a bottle was thrown away, he'd sneak it out of the trash can, wash it, put some detergent in it and then hide the bottle. He'd got to the local library to change his books and afterwards go to the public toilets outside the library. He'd lock his bike outside, get the bottle and tubing out and go into the toilet with his kit in a plastic carrier bag. If there was no-one there, he'd fill the bottle with water and shake it to mix in the detergent. He'd then go into a cubicle, attach the plastic tubing and insert the other end into his back passage. Then he'd squeeze the bottle, folding it over until all the soapy water was inside him. It used to sting and irritate and he'd hold it as long as possible. He'd then release it in a heap of foam. He was always sore afterwards, but it gave him a strange thrill even so. He'd throw the bottle away, keeping the tubing, as the bottle wouldn't stand being emptied like that a second time.

He pondered on that in his hospital bed and wondered whether those childhood self administered enemas had done the damage to his colon. "Too late to worry about that now," he thought. He'd been attracted to plastic baby pants and used to enjoy walking past washing lines with their rows of washed white diapers and plastic pants. He'd imagine what it must be like to be babied again, wearing those plastic pants. When he was a little older, he had discovered a shop in the town center which sold adult sized plastic pants. He used to save his pocket money and buy a pair every now and again. He'd go to a public toilet to put them on under his underwear to smuggle them home, throwing away the box in the trash bin the toilet. He used to wear them in bed at night and, being old enough to have discovered the joys of masturbation, used his plastic pants to relieve himself into. The next morning, he'd clean himself and the pants up and then hide the pants in his room. His parents never found them, to his great relief.

As an adolescent, he'd developed a varicocle (varicose veins in the scrotum) and he'd gone into the local district hospital to have them removed. On the night before the scheduled surgery, a young nurse had come to his bed, pulled the curtains around and told him that she was going to given him a couple of suppositories to clean out his bowel as part of the preparation for surgery the next day. She also said that she would shave him first and told him to remove his pyjama bottoms. Chris did this under the covers of the bed, but, when he'd finished, when pulled back the covers exposing his nakedness. She picked up a safety razor and started shaving his pubic hair. When he developed an erection, she held it out of the way with her other hand and just continued shaving him. She asked him to spread his legs and shaved in his anal cleft as well. he just wished that she wouldn't stop.

However an even better experience was awaiting him. After packing away the shaving equipment, she asked him to roll onto his left side and to bring his knees up. She lubricated her middle finger with KY Jelly and inserted it into his anus, working the jelly thoroughly around inside. He really got a buzz from that! She then unwrapped two little foil packets which she told him were Ducolax suppositories and he was to hold them for at least 20 minutes, or he'd have to have them again. She then inserted each one as far as she could push it into his rectum. Almost immediately, they began to work and he felt his bowels cramping and the need to go to the toilet. He clenched his buttocks tightly together and kept an eye on the clock. After the 20 minutes was up, he dashed to the toilet as his insides fell out in a strangely satisfying way. This was back in the swinging sixties and both the mattress and the draw sheet were rubber covered. Chris could remember lying there, sweating away because of the thick rubber sheeting. He always associated that with being nursed and cared for - a feeling he really liked.

When he was older and had left home, he had a bleed from his back passage and was taken to hospital. He was subjected to x-rays and sigmoidoscopy using a rigid metal tube sigmoidoscopy wielded by a young female doctor, who had first carried out a thorough rectal examination with a well lubricated gloved finger. Although painful, he decided that he really liked the sort of attention which he was receiving. As part of the investigations, Chris was told that he was to have a barium enema. This, he though, sounded like fun.

He received his appointment through the post together with two sachets of Picolax bowel cleansing medication, along with instruction as to how he should use it. It warned of frequent copious loose stools and Chris saw his opportunity. He went out to the local drug store and bought some adult sized disposable diapers and several pair of plastic pants to go over the top to provide more leak protection. He also bought a plastic mattress cover, plastic duvet cover and a draw sheet to go over the top of that. On the day before the procedure, he'd been told to take the day off work whilst he took the bowel cleansing solution, and the previous day he'd been told to eat a low residue diet to help the bowel cleansing solution do its work.

He made up the first sachet as per the instructions and stirred it vigorously whilst it fizzed. After waiting ten minutes, he added the extra water and stirred again. He drank it straight down. It was orange flavoured with a strong salty after taste. The ingredients said that it contained sodium picosulfate and magnesium citrate. He took a glass and two jugs of water up to his bedroom on a tray and set them down beside his bed. He drew the curtains across the windows to stop nosy neighbours watching his preparations. He stripped the bedclothes off the bed and covered the mattress with the plastic cover and put the draw sheet across. He replaced the pillows and put the duvet into its plastic cover. Chris then removed all of his clothes and put the first pair of adult disposable diapers on himself. He made sure that the adhesive tape fastenings were done up so that the diapers were a snug fit around waist and hips. Finally he pulled the plastic pants over the diapers and ensured that the elastics were outside the diapers to contain any leaks. He'd chosen a pair of almost see-through pants so that he could see when his diapers would need changing.

With that, he laid back on the bed, picked up his reading book and waited for the fun to begin. He'd been instructed to drink a glass of clear fluid every hour which he dutifully did. Whilst he was drinking the second glass, he felt his bowels churning and heard them gurgling from the effects of the very powerful laxatives. He finished his drink and within a few moments, he was fighting the urge to empty his bowels. His potty training meant that whilst his mind wanted to use the diapers, his body was trying to carry out his training, "Thou shalt not wet or soil the bed". After a few moments of struggling, the laxatives won hands down. He was forced to release a large quantity of mushy stool into his diaper and the act of passing the stool and resulting pressure on his bladder from the violent contractions of his rectum, caused him to empty his bladder at the same time. He reveled in the sensation of the warm urine spreading over his abdomen and running down between his legs to join the mush of stool being forced into the diaper. Chris thought that it was a good job he'd bough a large packet of diapers because he thought that he'd need them.

He laid back enjoying the sensations which brought back memories of being babied as a child. He'd hated it when he was potty training and his mom had slapped him for soiling his nappy instead of his asking to 'go potty'. Shortly afterwards, his bowels moved powerfully again and he was cramped by the strong contractions which the laxatives were producing. More loose stool was forced into his diapers which were ballooning out around his bottom with the large quantities which he'd already passed. He drank the next glass of water and his bowels responded by pouring more into the already soaked diaper. Brown fluid ran out into the plastic pants and Chris decided that it was time to go to the bathroom to change them.

He stood in the bath and pulled off the plastic pants, then undid the tapes of the disposable diapers. He removed these and folded them into a plastic bag as some of the contents ran into the bath and down his legs. He showered himself and washed the plastic pants at the same time. After drying himself carefully, he applied a layer of anti-diaper rash baby cream all over his bottom and around his anus which was sore from overuse. He put on another pair of disposable diapers, a clean pair of plastic pants and hung the pair he'd washed up to dry after giving them a good shake to remove surplus water. He wished that he'd got the nerve to hang them on his washing line, but feared the reaction from the neighbours. As he hung the pants up on the shower rail, his bowels opened again. This time he could feel that the b.m. Was mainly fluid. He waddled back to bed, anxious not to start any leakage so early in the life of the new diapers and hoping that the absorbent padding would soak it up.

This process repeated throughout the day and towards evening, he took the next dose. By now his stool was just brown water, but he followed the instructions. Over night, the process kept repeating and he got very little sleep. The next morning, he could still feel his insides churning and so decided, what the heck, to wear a pair of the disposable diapers to the hospital 'just in case'. He thought the staff there would understand. On arrival at the imaging department, he was asked to change into one of those delightful hospital gowns which open at the back and expose all to view at the rear at the slightest movement. After giving him a few minutes to change, a nurse came to collect him to take him to the preparation room. She led him into a side room with a rubber covered examination couch with lithotomy poles either side and a drip stand beside the couch. Hanging from the stand was a large clear bag of fluid with plastic tubing and a nozzle attached. Chris guessed that it was an enema set - he was right. "We need to check that the bowel prep worked properly, Chris, so we're going to give you an enema of clear water to check that your bowel is clear of stool. This will ensure that the radiographer gets good images of your bowel."

Chris was asked to lie back on the couch and the nurse helped him to place his feet in the stirrups and his thighs against the supports. His legs were held apart so that his buns were separated, leaving his anus exposed and vulnerable. She then dropped the end of the couch, leaving Chris's bottom hanging over the edge of the table. With a warning to Chris, she pressed a lever, and tipped the couch so that Chris was bottom in the air and head down.

The nurse donned a pair of rubber gloves and squeezed some KY Jelly into a gallipot. She firstly pulled back Chris's gown to expose his bottom, but covering his privates, then lubricated a finger thoroughly and inserted it into Chris's back passage, working the jelly around the opening. She picked up the nozzle and dipped it into the jelly and smeared it down the length of the tube with her finger. Chris then felt the pressure of the nozzle as she pushed it into his rectum until the whole of the nozzle was buried there, up to the flange. The nurse removed her gloves and put on a clean pair. She pulled off a piece of tape which she'd previously stuck to the side of the couch and used it to tape the tubing to Chris's leg. A second piece followed and she explained to Chris that this was to help keep the nozzle inside him. With that, she opened the clamp on the tubing and Chris was able to see the water level in the bag begin to fall. She was administering the enema slowly and massaged Chris's abdomen as the warm water started to fill him. The 'head down' position, and the long flexible nozzle meant that Chris didn't feel that he needed to go tot he toilet yet. In fact, he only got this sensation just as the last of the water was run into him. "Well done, Chris, you took that well!"

The nurse put a pan at the end of the bed and tipped Chris into a vertical position. She removed the tape and pulled out the nozzle, asking Chris to try to retain the water. Once the nozzle was out, Chris's gown was draped over his legs to protect what remained of his modesty and was asked to empty himself. The release of the water was, for Chris, truly orgasmic, He had never realized than an enema could give such a feeling. When he was truly empty, he was swung back into the horizontal position and the nurse gently wiped his bottom for him. That felt weird: he'd not had that done since he was a toddler. She looked into the pan and commended Chris for following the bowel cleansing regime properly. "That's nice and clear. We should get some good images of your colon." Chris was then offered a urinal to empty his bladder before the procedure.

She then took Chris to a waiting area. After a few minutes, a radiographer in a lead filled rubber apron called for him to follow her. She took him to an imaging room where the x-rays would be taken. The x-ray table had a foot support and there was an incontinence pad on the foot support and where Chris's bottom would be. The doctor asked Chris to lie on the table with his feet down on the foot rest. He was then asked to turn on his left side with his knees drawn up so that she could insert the barium enema nozzle. There was a large bag full of the white barium sulphate mixture hanging on a drip stand, the doctor and a radiographer with a nurse, all wearing their led filled rubber protective aprons. The doctor showed Chris the nozzle. It was a double inflatable nozzle and she explained to Chris how it worked. The nurse lubricated Chris's back passage with a rubber gloved finger and then gently inserted the first balloon of the inflatable nozzle.

The doctor inflated the first balloon with four squeezes of the inflation bulb and then pulled the balloon back tightly against Chris's anus. Chris could feel the balloon inflating inside him, pressing on his thankfully empty bladder and prostate. The doctor then filled the second balloon with air so that it was tight against the outside of Chris's anus and tightly sealing the rectum off. She then opened the valve to the bag of barium mixture and it started to run into Chris's rectum and colon. Almost immediately the level of the fluid stopped falling and the doctor placed her hand on Chris's abdomen. "He's gone into spasm. Could I have a syringe of Buscopan, please?" the doctor asked.

The nurse complied and handed the doctor a hypodermic syringe. The doctor brought up a vein in the back of Chris's hand and inserted the needle. She injected the Buscopan, warning Chris that his vision might become blurred. She was right! Almost immediately his eyes ceased to be able to focus. However the level of the barium in the bag started to fall again. Over the next few minutes he was asked to turn from side to side and the table was tipped from end to end to help the barium sulphate fill Chris's colon. From time to time, x-rays were taken and the proceedings halted until the doctor had looked at them.

Chris began to feel really full: in fact his abdomen was really distended by the barium enema inside him. Chris was glad that the inflatable nozzle was folding the fluid inside him as he felt that he couldn't have retained it himself. The doctor decided to call a halt to proceedings and the bag of barium sulphate was lowered to the floor so that the fluid from Chris would be drained back into the bag. The inflatable nozzle was deflated and withdrawn and Chris was asked to wait outside. In a few moment the doctor came and sat beside him. "We've got a problem, Chris. I couldn't get the barium right round to your caecum. There are two options: we can give you barium by mouth and some medication to hurry it through your digestive system or we could try again with the barium enema and hope that we can reach your caecum this time. On balance, unless you have any objections, I'd prefer to try the enema again." Chris gave his approval readily as the thought of having that done again was a delightful thought.

He was taken back in to the x-ray room and again positioned on the table. His anus was again lubricated by the nurse and the double inflatable nozzle inserted. Again the doctor inflated the balloons to seal them tight to prevent leaks. "I'm going to give you twice the amount of Buscopan before I start the enema in the hope that we'll fill you this time. We'll not take as many pictures as I only need the caecum and part of the ascending colon." Chris had the injection again in the back of his hand and his vision went almost immediately. The doctor opened the clamp and slowly started to fill Chris with the white fluid. The nurse and radiographers manually rolled Chris from side to side as well as tipping the table to help the fluid fill him. After a while, with his abdomen bulging as if he were pregnant, the table was tipped vertically so that Chris was standing on the foot rest. The bag of fluid was raised even higher and Chris felt that he could now empathize with a women in the last stages of pregnancy. The doctor ordered an x-ray to be taken and waited for it to be developed. To her delight she'd reached the caecum this time!

Chris was returned to the horizontal and the bag was lowered to drain the fluid from him. The doctor turned to Chris, "As you've got so much barium inside you now, there's a risk that it might solidify and block your colon. I'm going to ask the preparation nurse to wash you through several times until we've got as much barium out as possible, and then I'll order up a laxative for you to take when you get home. OK?" The nurse went to fetch a wheelchair and the tube was clamped. The wheelchair has a rubber ring on the seat. Chris was asked to sit in the chair, a process which felt strange as he was sitting on the rubber ring to avoid squashing the bulb of the inflatable nozzle on the outside of his body. He was wheeled back to the preparation room where he was helped up onto the table. The nurse there had a large bag of fluid o the stand and, when Chris was positioned in the stirrups, she removed the barium bag from the inflatable nozzle and replaced it with the bag of warm water. She opened the clamp and let the water run into Chris. She raised and lowered the couch, massaging Chris's abdomen with anticlockwise movements to encourage the water to flow back through his colon, until no more water would flow. Chris's abdomen was really distended this time, but he was both enjoying the enema and the close administrations of a very attractive young nurse.

After allowing the fluid to drain out by lowering the back, she prepared a second bag and the process was repeated. During the second washout, the nurse from the x-ray suite came in with a bottle and a handful of disposable diapers. She said to Chris, "With the amount of fluid in you, the doctor thought that you might have problems on your way home, so she's suggested that you wear a disposable diaper, if that's OK. I've brought the laxative which the doctor suggested to clear you out. It's bubble-gum flavoured castor oil and it's revolting. But it should do the trick by making your bowel contract vigorously to expel what's left of the barium." She stayed in the room to assist the other nurse.

After the second washout was completed, the double inflatable nozzle was deflated and removed. One of the nurses picked up a diaper and asked Chris to lift his bottom. With a nurse at each side of him, and his gown pulled up to his waist, Chris blushed, but pleasurably, as the two nurses ministered to him by deftly diapering him. His legs were lifted from the stirrups and he was helped to stand. The diapers were put in a carrier bag, along with the bottle of castor oil. The two nurses helped Chris back to the changing room. When he protested that he could manage, he was firmly told that, after all those enemas, he would be a little weak and wobbly. When he started to try to walk, he found that they were right and he was grateful for their support. In the changing room, he was helped to get dressed by the two nurses. He was helped into the waiting area and one of the nurses fetched him a cup of sweet coffee to restore his blood sugar levels. Once he had drunk that, he was allowed home with a follow-up appointment for the results in a week's time.

On the way home, he was glad that he was wearing the diapers, despite the strange looks he felt that he'd got from other people as his waist and hips bulged from the absorbent padding and he rustled slightly from the plastic outer cover. He felt the urge to relief himself and, despite his efforts to 'hold back', his over stretched anus wasn't able to contain the fluid and he leaked into the diaper. By the time he got home, his diaper was quite wet. He changed the diaper, finding that the crotch was covered with a white paste from the barium, and put on a pair of his plastic pants over the top. He read the instructions on the bottle of castor oil and, as per instructions, swallowed the whole lot. The taste was foul, with the bubble gum flavour unable to mask the oily taste of the castor oil. He gagged on the oily reflux and was nearly sick, but he poured a glass of orange juice and drank it straight down in an effort to flush the castor oil into his stomach. He climbed, exhausted onto his plastic protected bed, dressed only in his diaper and plastic pants, and pulled the plastic covered duvet over him. Almost immediately he fell into an exhausted sleep. Multiple enemas can be very tiring!

A while later, he awoke to a pressure which was irresistible. His guts were churning with the castor oil stimulating peristalsis. He could hear the contents of his bowels gurgling around and he had a desperate urge to evacuate. He let go and a warm wet mess exploded into his diapers. Almost immediately a further mass was forced out and his diapers were ballooning with the load he'd just put in them. He also was forced to empty his bladder at the same time and the hot urine mingled with the oily excrement. He realized that a diaper change was essential and went to the bathroom to change. Standing in the bath, he pulled off his plastic pants, then undid the tapes of the disposable diapers. He removed these and folded them into a plastic bag as some of the contents ran into the bath and down his legs. He showered himself and washed the plastic pants at the same time. This time he needed to soap himself thoroughly because of the sticky oily residue from the castor oil and the white pasty barium sulphate from the enema.

Once dried and re-diapered, with a dry pair of plastic pants over the top, Chris went to the kitchen to get a drink. After the first glass of water, he realized just how thirsty he was, so drank a second glass straight down. He refilled the glass and took it back to bed with him. The plastic covers on the bed were slippery with his sweat and he crawled back into the warm plastic and snuggled back down to sleep. Shortly afterwards he was awoken to a gurgling in his abdomen. The effects of the castor oil had forced the water through him and the water jetted into his diapers. In a short time they were sodden, so Chris once more had to go to shower and change. Chris got very little sleep that night. Eventually he was so exhausted that he did fall into a deep sleep and woke up late the next morning, fortunately a Saturday, to discover that his diapers were saturated and he had leaked around the plastic pants onto the mattress cover. He reached for the box of tissues beside the bed and stuffed handfuls around the legs of his pants to soak up the overflow. He quickly made it to the bathroom with only a small brown dribble down each leg. He showered off and washed the pants, hanging them to dry with the others. He'd enjoyed the feeling of soggy diapers again - a distance memory from early childhood.

A week later, Chris returned to the hospital for the results of the barium enema. His consultant told him that he had a colonic polyp which needed removing. This was before the days when flexible endoscopy was commonplace and the consultant explained that, as it wasn't too far up the descending colon and could be removed through Chris's anus. He asked his receptionist to book Chris in for the procedure. She took Chris outside and sat him down beside her desk and completed the necessary paperwork. Chris's insurance would cover the cost without problems and she offered him a date just a week ahead. She asked him, "Would you prefer to start the bowel clearing preparation at home or would you rather we did it all in hospital?" Chris very definitely preferred the hospital option. After all, he'd be looked after by all those nurses in their lovely starched uniforms!

A week later, Chris turned up at the hospital and was shown to his room. There the nurse sat down in the chair, inviting Chris to sit on the bed, whilst she took his medical history and made necessary nursing notes about him. After that, she took his blood pressure, pulse and temperature. As she was finishing this, an intern came in to take blood for checking and cross matching in case Chris needed transfusing post-operatively. When the intern left, the nurse went to the wardrobe in the room and, reaching up to the linen stored on the top shelf, removed a rubber draw sheet, cotton draw sheet and a hospital gown. Turning back the bed covers, she placed the rubber sheet across the mattress, covered it with the cotton draw sheet, and invited Chris to change into the gown. She left the room, saying she'd be back in a few minutes. Chris changed into the gown and sat on the bed awaiting her return.

On her return, she was wheeling a cart covered with a towel. "May I call you Chris?" She asked. "Please do," Chris replied. "Your consultant has asked that we make sure that your bowel is as clean as possible. This will make it easier for him to operate on you and to get a clear view of your polyp. It will also help to prevent the operation site from getting infected and, as you'll be stretched to allow him to get at the polyp and will be sore afterwards, you'll not have a bowel movement until the soreness has passed. We'll give you pain relief if your back passage is uncomfortable. OK?" Chris assented to all that. "You've been ordered a series of enemas, a colon tube to give you a high colonic and laxatives start the process off. Your room doesn't have a toilet so you have a choice of a bedpan, commode or diapers whilst the laxatives are working." "Which would you recommend?" asked Chris. "If you don't mind, I'd suggest the diapers as you'll be spending quite a lot of time on the commode or bedpan if you don't!" Chris was delighted that he was, after all, only doing what the nurse had recommended, even though he'd prefer the diapers himself.

She asked Christ to lie back on the bed. "I'll give you your first laxative in a moment, but, to start you off, would you spread your legs apart, please?" Chris did as she asked and she pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and took a gallipot to the sink. She ran a little water into it and went to the cart. Turning back the covering 'towel', she emptied three glycerine suppositories from their protective foil into the gallipot. Taking some KY Jelly, she lubricated a finger and buried it into Chris's back passage. She then inserted each suppository, pushing it as far into Chris's rectum as she could reach with her long slender finger. "These are relatively mild and will work in about ten minutes or so. These will start the bowel preparation process for you." What Chris had thought was a towel covering the cart turned out to be a layer of cloth diapers which she proceeded to fasten around Chris's buttocks with oversized diaper pins.

By the time she'd finished, he was encased in four layers of thick absorbent terry towelling. She then asked Chris to lift his heels from the bed and worked a pair of pink rubber pants around the diapers. "We use rubber pants still as the seams are glued, not sewn, and there are no elastics like in plastic pants, just the thickened rubber bands around the waist and legs. I'm afraid that they only come in pink - I hope that it won't worry your manly dignity," she said with a little laugh. "I gather you've had the dreaded castor oil before? These are just as powerful, I'm afraid, but they're better to actually take. They're called Ducolax and you're to have three. You can drink as much as you like for the moment, but you mustn't eat until after surgery." With that, she handed Chris the three tablets and a glass of water to swallow them down. "Oh yes, as you've followed my recommendation for diapers, just use them when you need to empty your bladder: that's why I've put so many on. You shouldn't need changing for several hours and we'll be starting the next stage by then anyway."

She left the room as Chris began to be aware of the glycerine suppositories melting inside him and starting to irritate. After twenty minutes, the irritation became quite strong and Chris felt the need to empty his bowels. He decided that he'd try to hold out a bit longer and, half an hour after insertion, he passed a quantity of formed stool which squashed itself between his anal cleft and the diapers. He laid there, aware of the babyish sensation of his soiled diaper, when there came a knock at the door. "Come in," Chris called. An orderly had brought him in a cup of coffee. "Would you like to sit up, sir, while I put the coffee on your over bed table?" Chris sat up as she had suggested to him, and immediately realized that the stool was now squashed between the diaper and his bottom. As he sat up, he could feel it squeezing up his back and around his testes. Some hours later, his diaper was soggy from his passing urine. It had cooled down as well, so that he was surrounded by a wet, cold messy diaper. Shutting his eyes, he could imagine he was child again being cared for by his mother.

Suddenly, the Ducolax caused a painful contraction and he found himself pushing out yet more stool into his diaper. As he was sitting up at the time, the stool was forced up around him and he knew that he was well and truly plastered. During the next couple of hours, he found himself adding to this pile every half hour or so. About every hour, a nurse came in to check whether the diapers had leaked at all and, on finding that they were still doing their job, left again.

About eight hours after he'd been given the laxatives, two nurses came into the room. One was pushing a wheelchair with an inco pad on the seat and the other was wheeling a drip stand and a cart piled with fun-looking equipment. Chris's room didn't have either a toilet, bath or shower, so he wasn't surprised when one of the nurses said, "Sit on the wheelchair, please. We'll take you to the shower and clean you up a bit." Chris stood up and the rubber pants were hanging well down between his legs with the weight of all the stool and urine which the diapers were holding. As he sat on the chair, he could feel yet more stool being forced up around his body, a cold, wet mess but a pleasant feeling. He was wheeled to the shower room where the chair was parked while both nurses put on neck to ankle white rubber aprons with sleeves and rubber boots whose tops came well inside the hem of the apron. They helped each other pull on rubber gloves over the sleeves so that they were suitably waterproof. Chris was asked to stand and one nurse removed his gown. The other nurse, standing in front of him, put her hand between his crotch and lifted upwards, saying, "My word, these laxatives have worked well." She rubbed the rubber pants and diapers over Chris's privates, squashing more stool around him. He wished that she'd keep going, but she stopped, whispering, "Later," to him.

"Stand in the shower, please." Chris did as he was told, noticing that the shower had a larger than usual outlet. He guessed, correctly, that the shower was designed to allow stool from a soiled patient to be flushed away. The waistband of his rubber pants was pulled down below his hips, leaving the tight bands firmly sealing around the top of his legs, and the diapers were unpinned and removed. Instead of removing the pants, they were pulled back up to his waist and Chris was told to turn to face away from the nurses. By now he had a raging erection and suddenly felt one of the nurses reach around him and grab his hard-on through the rubber pants in her gloved hand. "Just one of the services we like to provide for our younger male patients," she whispered in his ear as she proceeded to rub him to ecstasy. Meanwhile the other nurse had pushed the rubber pants up between his crotch and had stretched the rubber sufficiently to work her finger inside his back passage to enhance the experience. He came with a violent jerking of his whole body. The other nurse turned the shower on whilst her 'accomplice' pulled down the rubber pants to Chris's ankles and asked him to step out of them.

Chris was then washed from head to foot by both of the nurses who seemed to be getting as much fun out of it as Chris was. Chris was asked to turn side on in the shower so that one nurse was in front of him and the other behind him. He was a little startled when one nurse grabbed his penis, standing stiffly to attention, and the other pulled back his foreskin and washed thoroughly around the glans. He also jumped when one of the nurses, the one in front of him, was scrubbing his anal cleft and inserted a finger into his back passage and proceeded to massage his prostate. After washing him and rinsing the soap off, his privates were washed again with antiseptic. The shower was turned off and a large white towel was wrapped around him. The nurses rubbed him dry through the towel, completing what was, for Chris, the most amazing bath of his life.

The incontinence pad on the wheelchair was changed for a clean one and Chris was dressed in a clean hospital gown. Wheeled back to his room, he was put to bed whilst one of the nurses went to get the intern. Whilst she was away, the other nurse started to lay out equipment from the cart. The intern came with the nurse and introduced herself. "I've come to insert a urinary catheter into you now that you've showered and been cleaned with antiseptic before the nurses start your enemas. The surgery may bruise your urethra and make urination painful, so it's custom here to insert a catheter before surgery to prevent post operative problems. We prefer to insert the catheter before surgery so that you don't wake up with it in place and either wonder what it is, or think that something's gone wrong. Strangely enough, female nurses can't catheterize a male patient, but a female intern can. However, if you'd prefer a male to do this, please say." Chris gave his assent to her catheterizing him.

Chris was asked to lie back on flat on the bed, on an incontinence pad, and his gown was pulled up around his waist. Both nurses and the inter had donned clean green rubber aprons, from neck to just below the knee, and put on sterile rubber gloves. One nurse took a lotion bowl, forceps and gauze and proceeded to swab around Chris's privates with the antiseptic lotion. Chris could see why he was lying on the inco pad as the lotion was running down his anal cleft and puddling on the pad under his buttocks. A sterile field was then put around his penis. It was surgical green cloth with an appropriately positioned hole, just the right size. One of the nurses held his penis up while the other swabbed it again with clean gauze soaked in the lotion. Chris was embarrassed to be lying there with this green square cloth draped over him and his penis poking through being held by this young attractive nurse. The intern picked up a syringe and told Chris, "This is a local anaesthetic jelly which I'll squirt into your urethra. It may sting a little at first, then it'll go numb. It's to help the catheter to slide in and so that you won't feel uncomfortable. Because of your surgical procedure, I'm afraid I'll have to use a 20 FG catheter. That's about a quarter inch in diameter, but don't worry, there's plenty of room for it."

With that, she squeezed some of the jelly around the tip of Chris's penis around the urethral orifice and placed a little inside the urethra. It did sting a little, ands the intern waited until the anaesthetic had started to take effect. She then inserted the inch-long nozzle of the syringe into Chris's urethra and the nurse shifted her hand position up to the tip of Chris's penis so that she was squeezing around the nozzle to seal it into the urethra. The intern slowly injected the rest of the jelly which Chris could feel stinging its way down through his urethra. Before it became too painful, he was glad when the anaesthetic started to work and blessed numbness replaced the stinging.

The nurse continued to squeeze the tip of his penis as the intern withdrew the syringe. The intern tipped the catheter out of its packet into a sterile bowl and brought it over to Chris. "Please move your legs apart so that I can put the bowl between your legs. OK, nurse, that's about five minutes. He should be numb now." Chris's eyes bulged when he saw the red rubber catheter which she was intending to put in him. The intern saw his eyes dilate and again reassured him that it would be all right. The nurse was asked to hold Chris's penis lower down the shaft and the intern took the catheter with her gloved hands and fed the tip into Chris's urethral orifice. Chris was amazed as the thick rubber tubing was fed down through his penis. He looked down at the red rubber tube emerging from his penis. Suddenly he felt pressure inside him. "I've reached your prostate: would you cough when I say so? Cough now." Chris coughed and she pushed the catheter up through the prostate. Chris felt a sharp pain as she did this and then a strange sensation as the catheter was fed up into his bladder. By now the intern had positioned the end of the catheter over the bowl and urine started to flow into it. "Syringe, please, nurse."

One of the nurse's handed her a syringe filled with one ounce of water. "This inflates a balloon near the tip of the catheter, Chris, and will stop the catheter from coming out. Please don't try to pull it out as you'll only hurt yourself. We normally use a third of a fluid ounce balloon for normal catheterisation, but the bigger balloon is used for the procedure you're to have tomorrow." She inflated the balloon and gently tugged on the catheter which slid out a little until the balloon was resting on the outlet and neck of Chris's bladder.

While the intern was doing this, one of the nurses attached a long plastic tube to the outlet of the catheter. This was attached to a three pint plastic urine drainage bag which she hung by the side of the bed. Some urine could be seen trickling down the tube into the bag. "Is that all right, Chris?" the intern asked. "I don't expect that it's exactly comfortable, but it's not painful?" Chris said that it was all right, thinking to himself how strange it felt and how vulnerable it made him feel. With that the intern left the room. One of the nurses taped the catheter to Chris's thigh. "That'll help to stop the catheter pulling. Don't try to pass urine, even if you feel that you need to . Sometimes that catheter can cause a sensation as if you need to pass urine, but try to ignore it. If it becomes bad, let us know and the doctor can give you some medication to help."

The other nurse picked up a clean dry inco pad and asked Chris to lift his bottom so she could put it in place and remove the one which was wet with the cleansing lotion. She leaned over him and whispered, "We knew you were to be catheterized, so we thought that we'd relieve your pressure before hand as you mustn't try to jack yourself off now you're catheterized - you could hurt yourself. We're going to give you your enemas and colonics now. As you've got a catheter, you'll be using a bedpan as we don't want you using the toilet. Roll on your left side and draw your knees up to your chest." A well lubricated finger was inserted into Chris's back passage, followed by the nozzle of the enema. Chris could see the stainless steel can hanging on the drip stand beside him. "This one is a hot soap solution to wash you out. We're giving you two quarts this time."

With that, the head of the bed was lowered as far as possible and the clamp opened. Chris could feel the hot soapy water begin to fill his insides. He started to cramp and told the nurse. She closed off the tubing and the other nurse gently massaged his stomach. The clamp was opened again and more soap was run in. This time there was no cramping and Chris watched in awe as his abdomen began to swell as if he were pregnant. To his amazement, the clip was closed, the nozzle gently removed and the nurse announced, "Well done. You've taken the full two quarts. Lie there quietly and hold it as long as possible. Tell us when you really need to go and we'll tip the bed flat and put you on the bedpan."

Chris laid there as long as possible, but the hot soapy water was making its own demands on his colon. "Can I expel it now, please?" Chris asked. The bed was placed in the horizontal position and Chris could feel the bedpan placed against his bottom.

The nurses helped Chris to turn over and sit on the bedpan. He sat up and they supported him on either side as the foamy water poured out of him in wave after wave. He knew then why the nurses were holding him as the enema had made him feel faint. Eventually he could expel no more and was gently wiped dry, the bedpan removed and Chris was allowed to lie back to recover. The nurses looked at the enema's return. "The laxatives did well. We'll just need to flush you out now. Roll on your left side again, please."

This time Chris's anus was lubricated again and he was shown the colon tube - long red rubber like a hose pipe, with two large eyes near the rounded end and glistening with lubricant. The rounded end was placed up against his anus and gently pushed through his sphincter muscle. It was twisted and pushed in and some water from the can on the stand was run in to help to dilate the colon. The tubing was again pushed further and the process repeated until about four feet of the tubing was inside him. "We're nearly round to your appendix. You've done well. I'm going to put a speculum into your back passage to open it up. I'll then get you to lie on your back on a slipper bed pan and, as we put the warm water in to you, it can drain out into the bedpan, washing any debris from your colon."

The blades of the speculum were slipped around the colon tube and ratcheted open. Chris was asked to say when it became painful and the nurse stopped. Chris was rolled onto his back and a slipper pan placed under his hips. The water was allowed to flow and Chris didn't feel any sensations of cramping or even the water flowing this time. He commented on this and was told, "You've go no pressure nerve endings so high up in your colon. It's only your rectum which is sensitive to pressure." Eventually, Chris could feel the water trickling out of him into the bedpan. The nurses kept changing this for an empty one and topping up the water in the enema can on its drip stand.

"You're clean now, so I'm going to remove the speculum. We'll fill you up with water and then gently remove the colon tube. Once its out, you can sit on a normal bedpan and expel the water yourself." Chris started to feel full as the fluid backed up his colon into his rectum. When he felt as if he could take no more, he was rolled onto his side and the colon tube was gently withdrawn. He was helped to sit up on the bedpan and to expel all the water inside him. He felt weak from the enemas and colonic, but he felt really good as well. With that, he was cleaned, the equipment put back on the cart, covered over and the two nurses left him.

When they were gone, he pulled back the covers and looked at the catheter sticking out from his penis. He felt down the shaft of his penis and could feel the tubing running down the back. Feeling between his legs, he could feel where the tubing ran between his legs and then turned up towards the bladder. Weird, he thought to himself. A while later, a nurse came in, handed him two sleeping tablets, encouraged him to drink two glasses of water and then removed his drinks, telling him, "You're nil by mouth now until after theater. Good night. You should sleep well with those sleeping tablets!" Chris laid down, arranged the catheter tubing so that it wasn't pulling at all, and very quickly went to sleep, partly helped by the sleeping tablets, but mainly because it had been an exhausting day.

It seemed as it his head had just hit the pillow when he was shaken awake. "Time for your pre-op shower, Chris" The nurse took the catheter bag and helped Chris sit on a wheelchair. He was wheeled to the shower where another nurse had already donned apron, gloves and rubber boots. Chris stood in the shower and his gown was removed whilst the nurse who had brought him put on the protective apron, gloves and boots as well. The nurses showered Chris and dried him, this time 'professionally' without any attempt to 'stimulate' him. He was given a clean gown to put on and taken back to his room. The gurney was awaiting him and he transferred straight from the wheelchair to the gurney. He was covered by a cotton blanket and his wrist bands were checked for the right identity. His notes and x-rays were placed under him and the gurney was wheeled to the theater complex with the nurse walking beside him.

At the theater, he was lifted onto the table and the anaesthetist asked him the usual questions about when he had last eaten or drunk anything, whether he had false teeth and all the usual checks. Chris had met him the previous afternoon when he'd come to do the pre anaesthetic check. One of the theater nurses, anonymous in theater greens and mask, took Chris's hand and held it for the anaesthetist. Another nurse placed a black rubber mask over Chris's face, telling him that it was oxygen and that he should take slow deep breaths. Chris could hear the oxygen hissing through the mask and could smell traces of previous anaesthetics which the mask and tubing had absorbed. The anaesthetist found a vein in the back of Chris's hand, inserted a cannula which was taped down by yet another nurse.

Taking a syringe, he told Chris to keep his eyes open, connected it to the port of the cannula and injected the thiopentone. Rapidly Chris felt the solution running up his arm and then all went black. He awoke, to him as if no time at all had passed, to be told, "You're in recovery. You've had your operation and it went well." Chris grimaced as pain from his back passage suddenly hit him. "Are you in pain?" asked the recovery nurse. Chris told her where it hurt ands she prepared an injection of pethidine. Chris had been told that morphine was usually given, but Chris had had problems with morphine as it made him violently sick. She placed the syringe into the cannula port and slowly injected the pethidine. Chris had a sudden metallic taste in his mouth and then blissful numbness swept over him. He didn't know whether he hurt and he certainly didn't care. He was just aware of the nurse telling him to ask for more if he started hurting again. He relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

When he awoke, he was back in his room and had an i.v. running saline into the cannula in the back of his hand. He felt something around his waist and hips, and on looking, discovered that he had a t-bandage holding a pad against his back passage. A few minutes later, a nurse came into the room and asked him how he felt. He was still very sore and said so. "You can have another injection of pethidine now, so I'll get it for you after I've checked you. I need to take your blood pressure, pulse and temperature, as well as checking that you're not bleeding from your back passage." She did his vital signs and then said, "Roll onto your left side, please, and draw your knees up." Chris did this and she gently peeled back the pad and checked for bleeding. "We'll be doing this every four hours for the next twenty-four, I'm afraid," she said to him. "I'll get your injection now." She came back and gave him his pethidine intramuscularly into his left and again Chris drifted off into an opiate induced sleep.

This procedure repeated every four hours with Chris getting a jab of pethidine each time. After the twenty four hours were up, Chris did indeed feel less sore and was happy to take his pain relief in the form of tablets. The inspections of his back passage ceased as well and he was quite disappointed as he loved being handled so gently by the nurses. He was allowed to drink, but the drip stayed up to keep the cannula patent in case he haemorrhaged and needed a blood transfusion. Forty-eight hours after the operation he was allowed his first solid food and his urinary catheter was removed, although semolina was hardly what Chris considered solids. Seventy-two hours after the operation, one of the nurses wheeled in a cart and hung a stainless steel can on the drip stand to give him an enema of warm water to help to get his bowels moving. This was successful and blood-free so four days after surgery, Chris was sent home.

He'd been warned to try to avoid diarrhoea if possible as his anal sphincter had been stretched during the operation and wasn't as tight as before. He'd been told to eat a high fibre diet and dutifully did as he was told by the dietician. During the next couple of years, his stools got looser and looser, despite his diet. One night, he awoke to find he'd soiled himself, and his bedclothes. He'd continued with the plastic sheet over the mattress with a sheet on top, so the mattress was unsoiled. The next night, he wore a pair of his plastic pants and a disposable diaper 'just in case'. 'Just as well' was more accurate as he woke with a soiled diaper. He went to see his doctor who referred him both to a specialist and to a continence care nurse. She advised him on disposable diapers and even showed him how to put them on. He kept quiet about his foreknowledge, of course. To his delight, he was prescribed diapers for the night-time and stick-on pads to go in his underwear for the day time, again 'just in case'. His medical insurance picked up the tab and Chris added his plastic pants over the top at night to improve his leak protection.

Chris found that the problem was worsening so that he was leaking a little during the day and was glad of his pads in his underwear. His specialist admitted him to hospital for tests and found that Chris was actually passing more than he was eating. "No wonder I'm getting thinner," thought Chris. The consultant admitted Chris to hospital for colonoscopy and he had to have his bowels cleaned out first. He was given 4 litres of KleanPrep to drink instead of castor oil or Picolax and Chris was warned that he would have very urgent watery stools. After the first litre, he noticed a wet patch on his pyjamas - he was leaking from his penis.

He called for a nurse and explained the problem. She got the sister to have a word with him. "We've never had that as a side effect before: the major problems are usually colic or a runny nose. Still, I'll get you a gown and a nappy. A couple of minutes later, she came back with a clean gown and something wrapped in it. Pulling the curtains around his bed, she told Chris to take his pyjamas off and to stand beside the bed.

As he did this, she unwrapped her bundle and expose a disposable nappy pad, adult sized and a pair of plastic pants. She asked Chris to pull the pants up to his knees and to stop there. When he had the pants up to his knees, she placed the nappy into the pants and guided it into place as he pulled the pants all the way up. "I've given you a nappy and plastic pants so that you can get them off quickly when you need to go.," she told him. About half an hour later, he felt the urge to go to the toilet and got up quickly from the chair beside his bed. Chris started to waddle with the plastic pants and diaper between his legs to the toilet in his room.

Unfortunately, about half way across his room, he couldn't hold it any more - neither could the diaper. It down his legs and leaked all over the floor. Chris pressed the nurse call button and, as the nurse came into his room, he apologized profusely. He was told not to worry and escorted to the shower where he was helped to wash the mess off. The sister came into the shower and said, "Don't worry - that is a fairly regular problem. However, if it's happened once, it will probably happen again. I'm going to put you in the all-in-one diapers. When you need to go, just let it go and we'll change you every hour until you're washed through." With that, the sister and nurse towelled him dry and they put him in the diaper and fastened the adhesive tapes. Chris was given a clean gown and led back to his bed. A plastic sheet had been put on the bed with an inco pad. During the next few hours, he proceeded to both wet and soil his diapers with two nurses changing him every hour. It was just like his childhood! Eventually, he'd drunk all of the Kleanprep and most of it had passed through him. He was diapered for the night and put to bed.

Next morning, the diapers were removed by a nurse as Chris stood in the shower. The nurse put the diaper carefully on the floor and went to get the sister. "He's still passing solids. What should we do?" "Give him a rectal washout until it returns clear," said the sister. Chris was given a clean gown and asked to lie on his left side with his bottom near the edge of the bed. Chris was lying there when two nurses came in with a cart. Placing a stainless steel bucket beside the bed, the nurses donned aprons and gloves. Chris laid there waiting for the usual lubrication of his anus and wasn't disappointed, He mused about how many nurses had had there fingers up his backside and decided that it was quite a lot.

The nurses assembled a rectal catheter, tubing and funnel. The tip of the catheter was lubricated and water poured into the funnel until it ran out of the catheter. The tubing was clamped and one nurse gently inserted the catheter about four inches whilst the other held the funnel. The clip was opened and, with the nurse holding the funnel, the other kept replenishing the fluid in the funnel. When Chris started to feel full, the clip was fastened and then the funnel lowered into the bucket. The clip was reopened and the funnel and tubing drained the water out of him. This was repeated three times until the nurses were satisfied that the water was coming back clear. He was filled up once more, rolled onto his back after the catheter had been removed and helped onto a bedpan to void the rest of the fluid by gravity and muscle power.

After a short time, the gurney came to take him to the endoscopy suite. He was asked to assume the left lateral position all too familiar to him - left side, knees up, gown around his waist. He was given an injection of midozolam in the back of his hand and drifted off to sleep. Back in his room, his specialist came to see him. "We've carried out various tests and we've found nothing abnormal except for your weight loss and leakage. Your anal sphincter is weak, possibly from when it was stretched to remove your polyp, but that was standard procedure at the time. The only other thing we've noticed is that your gut transit time is very fast. From the time your food goes through your mouth to it leaving your anus is very quick and a lot of the food is undigested. I'm going to give you some medication to try to slow down the transit time." Whilst Chris was in the hospital, he was given the medication which was opiate based. Unfortunately it caused him to go into urinary retention and he had to be temporarily catheterised. The specialist came to speak to Chris and said that the cure was worse than the condition and suggested that Chris continue with the diapers for a while longer to see whether the condition would resolve itself.

Once home, Chris thought about it and decided that, whilst he didn't mind leaking at night, he did mind doing so during the day at work. He tried using laxatives at night and had quite a range he'd bought from a range of drug stores. He'd shopped around so that the staff at the stores wouldn't realize how much he was buying. Just before bedtime, he'd put on the thick disposable all-in-one diaper and a pair of plastic pants. He'd place the inco pad provided on the bed and then take his nightly laxatives. Those could be a handful of senna tablets, a couple of glasses of Epsom salts, two four ounce bottles of castor oil - he liked the effects but not the taste - or Ducolax tablets. He tried all sorts. He'd gotten used to waking during the night several times to empty his bowels and then to go back to sleep again quickly. Every night he both wet and soiled his diaper and cleaned himself up before work. He tended not to leak during the day. After several months of this, he noticed that food was taking much longer to pass through him. If he wanted the laxative to work overnight, he was having to take it earlier and earlier in the day.

One day he woke up in real pain. His abdomen was swollen and he'd not passed stool overnight, despite a hefty dose of laxatives just after he'd got home from work. He went to the local ER and was admitted. He didn't mention the laxatives, of course. The pain got worse and he was given pethidine i.m. and two cannulas inserted 'just in case'. Overnight, his abdomen continued to swell and he was in agonies. Rushed to theater with toxic megacolon, he had an emergency laparotomy, sub-total colectomy and ileostomy formed. When he woke, with patient controlled analgesia, this was explained to him. "You had all of your colon removed, except for your rectum and anus, as it was about to burst. If it had, you'd have had a 20% chance of surviving. Your colon was necrosed - rotting - and we've sent it off to histopathology. Unfortunately, you've got an ileostomy and you'll need to learn how to put a bag over it to collect your stool. An E.N. will teach you and show you how to care for your stoma." Chris laid on the hospital bed in the side room remembering how he had gotten here and the stages that led up to this: however, he didn't regret his experiences!

Anonymous

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