Ages And Stages

Rate this story... Really bad | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Fantastic (currently 3 out of 5)

Ages And Stages

2008-05-17 17:26:33

Part 1

It was a rainy Friday afternoon when Karen Matthews found herself pouring out her soul to her new neighbor. It seemed inappropriate, she'd invited this woman over to get to know her and introduce her to the neighborhood. But the baby pictures, the ones of John, had finally triggered something deep inside her. Why had she chosen so long ago to work from home if she wasn't going to be needed? She felt like a cook, a chauffeur, a maid. She didn't feel like a mom.

Prof. Joan Moullier listened to all of this attentively. Finally she asked, "Have you ever considered that you feel an urge to take care of your son because he needs to cared for?"

Karen stared for a second at this odd woman. She'd heard her stories of living with tribal people all over the world. She'd heard of their about their customs, their rituals, and now this women who came to her door adorned in pendants and charms no longer seemed like a flake but a deeply wise women. And now she'd said something that had lurked in Karen's mind for months, something she knew but couldn't bring her self to acknowledge. John was edging up on 13. She'd dismissed her maternal instincts as selfish. The boy rejected every attempt to mother him. But there something about his rejections rang untrue.

She began to tell her visitor that she may just be right, but Joan interrupted. "I have a feeling that if you just follow your instincts everything will turn out right." An odd twinkle danced in her eyes. Prof. Moullier excused herself and tentative plans for another lunch together were made.

When John came home a plate of cookies and a mug off milk were waiting for him. This had been a familiar ritual until he was 9. He hesitated to take them, but he was hungry, and it somehow seemed right. He shouted a thank-you up the stairs and settled down in front of the TV with his snack.

He went to bed earlier than usual for a Friday night. His mother insisted on, explaining that they had a lot to do tomorrow. He didn't argue, he felt tired anyway, and he fell asleep quickly. He dreamed he was standing in a river, as the water flowed around him he felt content as if it were washing away all his worries.

He awoke cold and wet. This was not something that had ever happened before. He had no idea what would happen if mother discovered he'd wet his bed, and he was far too embarrassed to find out. He made up his mind to hide the evidence. He could stuff the sheets in the closet and wash them later when he was alone. This plan was doomed to failure.

Karen opened the door to her son's room and found a boy standing by the side of his bed in very wet pajamas. "I spilled some water," the boy stammered. But the truth was all too apparent. Tears came to his eyes. There were just no words that could explain away the shame. She hugged him and tried to reassure him that one little accident didn't mean anything. But this child, who had once been at the threshold of the teen years, ready for independence, was now a little boy in wet bedclothes who needed his mommy to brush away the tears, clean up his bed, and make him feel better. As it would turn out this was glimpse of the future as much as it was a look back at the past.

Part 2

At that moment John felt weak. All he could do was hold his head on his mother's shoulder and cry. "Everything's going to be alright, let's just get you out these wet things," she cooed softly. He allowed her to strip off his wet clothes. It had been years since she'd seen him naked, but his privacy had already been shattered by his accident. So he stood still while his mother slid down his soaked pajama bottoms. "Raise your arms, honey." He meekly complied as she pulled off his shirt.

The thought of giving her son a bath crossed Karen's mind but she immediately let go of it. She didn't even quite know why she'd undressed him, he just seemed so small and helpless, even cute. She felt the power to make everything right again and did what she felt her boy needed.

"Now go ahead and take a shower, I'll clean all this up. Don't worry about anything, no one needs to know about one little accident."

Neither one of them spoke of John's bedwetting again that day. And when John went to bed he was worried but was confident the incident would not be repeated. In his dream he was at home when he felt the need to pee. But the bathroom door was locked. As he struggled with it his bladder began to dribble, finally he could control himself no longer and could do nothing as watched the dark spot grow across his pants. He looked up to see his mother who took him by the hand and led him down the hall to his room. Only this room was furnished with a crib, a rocking chair, and a changing table stocked with baby powder, baby wipes and fresh diapers. When he woke up he once again felt cold and wet. He'd wet his bed again, and this time he'd soaked himself thoroughly.

Karen knew to check on John that morning. She found exactly what she suspected, there was John sitting in his soaking wet bed trying not to cry. She sat down next to him and rubbed his back.

"Are you feeling OK?"

"Yeah, I don't know why this is happening. I didn't do it on purpose."

"I know, baby, but we're going to have to go to the doctor, I'll try to see if we can get in today. Now stand up."

John stood and once again allowed his mother to undress him and went to take his shower.

Karen stripped down his bed and went to the hall closet. She dug into the back and retrieved what she'd been looking for, John's plastic sheets from when he was only a toddler. It was all she could do to protect the mattress she thought. She only hoped he wouldn't mind the teddy-bear print too much.

John sat glumly in the pediatrician's waiting room. He was embarrassed to have his mom know about his little night-time problem, he certainly didn't want to talk to the doctor about it. He hoped that somehow he'd be forgotten and he'd be able to go home and keep his secret.

But his name was called and he was led with his mother into an examination room. He was weighed and measured. At barely 4 and a half feet and 65 pounds he was the smallest kid in his class. The nurse, trying to cheer him up, noted that he'd grown quite a bit since his last visit. But he knew he was a little kid with a little kid's problem.

The nurse left the room asking John to strip to his underwear for his examination. He did as his mom took his clothes and folded them into a nice pile on the chair next to her. The doctor came in and for what seemed like an eternity he and his mother discussed each of his recent accidents. He turned increasingly red as his mother recounted his potty training. She even told about the accident he'd had on a 2nd grade field trip.

Dr. McDade ordered some tests and when everything was finished John's mother handed him back his clothes and he left feeling like everyone knew what a baby he was.

John was determined not to wet that night. He made sure not drink after 6:00 and went to the bathroom right before going to bed. He climbed into bed and heard his shameful bedsheet rustle beneath him. Every time he turned over he was reminded that he was sleeping on a teddy-bear printed sheet designed to lessen the effects of a toddler's toilet training mishaps.

"Honey wake up."

John came drowsily back awake to find his mother gently stroking his head. "You've had another accident." He was wet down to his knees and almost up to his chest. His efforts had been futile. He was doomed, it seemed, to wet himself at night.

John went to school with the almost certain knowledge that he was the only student at his middle school who was stripped out of his pee-pee soaked PJs by his mom. Meanwhile, back at home Karen got the call from Dr. McDade.

"You said he only began wetting Friday night?" the doctor asked incredulously.

"Yes. It was the first time since he was in pre-school. Why?"

"The neurological development of John's bladder is only a little more developed than that of a very young child. There's no way he could stay dry through the night. I suppose his bladder could have regressed, but I've never heard of any such thing. I'll have to do some research, just handle the problem as you see fit."

Karen knew what she'd have to do. It was necessary to cut back and laundry and make sure John got a good night's sleep. She felt badly for John, she knew he was already embarrassed. But she also felt this was needed for other reasons, for the good of both of them.

It seemed like yesterday that he was still a baby. He was cute then. And now, despite his age he still was. A mother of one of John's friends had commented how much younger John looked than his peers, and how despite being in Jr. High he still something about him that was as cute as any small child.

His seemingly perpetual baby-like quality would make it easier for her to take care of him in the way he needed it. In fact she looked forward to it. She hoped he would see why this step had to be taken. She hoped even more that maybe he'd appreciate it.

John came home to find his mother waiting for him on the couch. "Come here honey, we have to talk." John had some idea what she was going to say, but he sat down next to her any way.

Karen hugged her son and began to explain the situation "The doctor called back with the test results today. They can't tell what's wrong but he says that it's not your fault. You bladder just can't make it through the night. So for right now you'll wet your bed almost every night."

Tears came to John's eyes as it dawned on him what was happening, Karen drew him closer. "Now honey, we can't have you waking up in wet PJs every night. So I've decided to put you back in diapers."

"Please don't. I'll try. I'm not a baby," John protested.

"Look I decided when to let you out of diapers I can decide when to put you back in them. You need a good night's sleep and I can't do laundry all day. Now do you understand why you need diapers."

John began to stop crying. He understood that this best for him, and while he was embarrassed he also felt oddly comforted. He nodded "Yes."

"And will you let me diaper you until we can solve this problem?"

"Yes."

"OK, that's a good boy. Now let's go to the store."

Part 3

Her little boy needed her and Karen was happy to take of care of him. She worried that his problem was a sign of something else. But for right now her son need her to diaper him. She looked forward to it actually. She felt a bit guilty about it, but she just wanted her baby back.

John was just happy the supermarket wasn't busy. The last thing that he wanted his anyone seeing his mom buying his diapers. He stood in the parking lot and hesitated. "Maybe" he thought "if I just don't go in. She won't buy them."

But his mom was more persistent than that. "Now come on, honey," she said, taking his hand. And so he was led to the diaper aisle by the hand. There in aisle 12 was a wall of diapers, colorful packages intended for small children who hadn't mastered potty-training. And one of those packages was meant for John.

He just watched as his mother browsed the selection. And then it occurred to him, "Nothing would fit." "There couldn't possibly be a diaper big enough for me," he thought, "these are baby diapers, and I'm not a baby."

"Here, these will be perfect!" His mother interrupted his thoughts. "Pampers size 7, no more wet PJs honey these will keep you dry."

John was flabbergasted. He glanced up and down the aisle to make sure they were still alone. Why was his mom being so indiscrete?

"Oh I'm sorry. You probably don't want anyone to know these are for you. You can go wait in the car while I pay for them."

Finally there was some way out of the embarrassment. John walked swiftly, restraining the urge to run so as not to draw attention, back to the car and waited. He'd actually found his mother's words strangely comforting. He hated waking up in a cold wet bed. And, if he was honest with himself, he enjoyed the extra attention he'd been getting. Growing up was stressful. Maybe it would be nice to take a break from it.

Karen put two packages of diapers in her cart along with some baby powder and diaper-rash cream, and wheeled her cart to the check-out stand. " So is your little one at home?" Inquired the clerk as she scanned the items.

"No actually he's in the car," Karen replied. She noticed the clerk was rather taken a back by the idea of leaving a small child in the car.

"Oh, he's twelve-years old. He'd hate to have me go around blabbing, but he started wetting the bed recently. I thought these might keep him comfortable and cut back on the laundry."

"You know I used to wish mine were bedwetters. They grow up so fast and sometimes you just want to baby them."

"I know how you feel. I know its hard for him, but these diapers are just so cute I can't wait to get them on him."

The clerk handed her the change. "Well, I'd try to make the most of it if I were you," she said.

Back at home John sat and watched TV. The rain roared outside. Snow would was in the near future according to the weatherman. Karen made two cups of hot cocoa. When John was younger she used to sit with on nights like this and drink hot cocoa with him while they watched TV. She thought that reverting to some of these old habits might make the notion of going back to diapers more comfortable to John. It was her way of giving him permission to be little again.

She handed him his mug. "Here, you've been really brave about this. I thought I'd do something special for you."

"Thanks." John sipped his cocoa and chatted with his mother as they watched TV. It all felt very cozy and familiar. His resistance to the idea of wearing diapers was beginning to crack. Deep down inside he knew he needed it.

At nine Karen checked her watch. "Its time to get you ready for bed, honey," she said.

She picked up the bag from the store and led John up the stairs and into his room.

"Just sit down," she said, patting the foot of John's bed. John complied. She began untying his shoelaces.

"Mom! I can undress myself," John said with more than a hint of indignation.

"Oh, just relax. You take so long to get undressed, I just don't want to wait for you." She continued about her business, removing each of John's shoes, then his socks.

"Now lift your arms." She took off his shirt, folded it and set it neatly on the dresser.

"Now lie back." John saw no reason to resist at this point and did as he was told. He could only watch as his mother undid his button, unzipped his pants and slid them down to his ankles. They were quickly removed, folded, and set on top of his shirt. Then he was stripped of his underwear. He lay there vulnerable as can be while his mother prepared to diaper him.

Out from the bag came a tube of diaper-rash cream. "I noticed some red spots. I'd better take care of those before they become a rash," his mother said as she rubbed the cream into his skin. It was a shock to go from being nearly a teenager to having his mom apply cream to his butt. But it was calming to, he knew he was in caring, loving hands.

The came the baby powder which was applied liberally to his entire diaper area. The smell set off a wave of sensations in John's mind. His embarrassment was coupled with an overwhelming sense of well-being.

Finally a bag of Pampers came out of the bag. John watched as his mother opened it and pulled a perfectly folded white diaper from the package. "Lift up your behind, baby," his mother cooed.

John did as he was told and the diaper was slid underneath him. She pulled it up snuggly between his legs, and expertly taped both sides firmly in place. She smiled down at her son. His last bit of resistance had crumbled, he felt good being his mommy's baby. He couldn't help but smile back.

"There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Karen said as she pulled a pair of PJs from the dresser. John just shook his head. She helped him into his pajamas, pulling them up the bottoms and fastening the buttons on the top. She pulled back the covers and patted John's butt as he climbed in.

"I think you're cute in diapers."

John blushed. She leant over and kissed him on the forehead.

"Good-night, sweet-heart."

She turned off the lights and closed the door behind her.

Part 4

The diaper crinkled with every move John made. If anyone from school knew about his he'd die of embarrassment, but this was the most relaxed he'd felt in days. Secure in the knowledge that he'd wake up in a nice clean bed no matter what, that in the morning his mom would come in to change him, he drifted off to sleep.

In the dim light of morning John slowly came awake. Remembering the past few mornings he felt his sheets. "They're dry!" he thought to himself "Its finally over." Then he remembered that he'd been well diapered the night before.

His mom walked into the room humming contentedly to herself. "Good morning, let's see how that diaper did." She reached under the covers and touched a hand to his backside.

"All dry." She reached underneath his PJs and stuck a finger into his waistband. "My, you really did wet last night. Let's get you out of that soaked thing."

She gently pulled down his bottoms and untaped his diaper. She disposed of it in a pail next to the bed. She took a baby wipe and wiped down his diaper area. "There we go, all nice and clean. We can't have any rashes developing. Now go ahead and shower."

John felt almost out of line taking care of his own hygiene at this point. But he wanted scrub off the slightest hint of baby smell. He got out of the shower and went into his room. On his bed his mom had laid out his clothes. They had a certain juvenile quality to them but he knew that he going to have to wear them.

The routine of the school day faded into the background as John contemplated the events of the last few days. There was some hope. As long as no one found out he could live with this slightly unusual arrangement. Lunch drew near as he felt his bladder begin to beg for emptying.

"I can hold it for 15 minutes" he told himself. But the urge became stronger. He was ready to burst. He began to raise his hand when the trickle began. He panicked at the wet warmth and the trickle became a stream. He had no control over it, he tried to stop it, but the huge wet spot grew across his pants as a puddle gathered at his feet. His pants, his shirt, his socks, everything was soaked.

Mrs. Clark noticed the look of distress on John's face.

"John, is there something you find shocking about Algebra."

"I... I..."

"Did you... Did you wet your pants?"

John could only offer a mortified nod as laughter rose from the rest of the class.

Mrs. Clark sighed softly. "Go to the front office. They'll have someone pick you up."

John walked out of the class room trying to ignore everyone else. John wondered what would happen at the office. Would he have to confess that was a bedwetter as well? Would he have to tell them that he wore baby diapers at night?

He approached the front desk. The secretary, Ms. Johnson, was going some paperwork. "What do you need?" She asked his without looking up.

"I..." The words caught in his throat. He would have to admit his childish act. "I wet my pants," he stammered. "Could you call my mom and ask her to pick me up?"

Ms. Johnson looked up "Oh," she said taking a tone one would take with a much younger child "Yes, of course, just sit down and we'll see what we can do."

John gave her the phone number as she dialed.

"Hello, Mrs. Matthews, this is John's school. It seems that John had an accident... No he's fine what I mean is he wet pants. Yes, we don't really have a policy for this but we'd allow you to just pick him up. So you'll be over? Great, he'll be waiting right here in the office."

"She says she'll be right over."

A towel was placed over a seat and John sat and waited. His wet clothes clung to his skin and provided a constant reminder that he'd done something one might expect of a Kindergartner. And right now he wanted his mom the way a five year-old might. He just wanted to go home, whatever decision she made for him would be fine by him.

Karen made her way to John's school. She'd thought this might happen and she was prepared to take her boy home. She entertained the idea that Jr. High wasn't the place for him. Maybe, for just a little while, it would be best if he stayed at home where she could look after him.

She signed him out of school and ushered him into the car. "I know its not your fault, honey. I'm just going to take you home and let you clean up. But you need to understand that you may have to start wearing diapers during the day, too."

At home John showered and once again dressed in clothes his mother had picked out for him. He went into the living room and watched TV. His mother joined him and shortly afterwards an ad for Pampers came on.

John blushed slightly at the ad. The leak guards, the absorbency, these were things that now kept his PJs dry at night. It caught Karen's eye as well. She was once again among the mothers who purchased diapers. This ad was aimed at her, a concerned parent who wanted to keep her baby dry and comfortable.

Later, just before six, Karen interrupted John's video game. "How about going out pizza?"

John loved the idea. He put on his shoes and coat.

On the way out the door Karen paused and turned to John "Why don't you go potty before we leave. I don't want any problem while we're out."

John was a bit embarrassed to have his mother regulate his trips to the bathroom. But he knew it was a good idea.

At the pizza parlor they ate their pizza and talked. Karen paid the bill and left a tip on the table.

"Honey, why don't you try going potty again. You really drank a lot of soda."

John nearly died at the thought that somebody may have heard that. But no one seemed to notice so he walked into the bathroom. He was certain he didn't need to go, but he wasn't going to argue with his mother.

But he did need to go, and badly. He worried about he hadn't been able to feel it. Was he really becoming a baby? He didn't tell his mother about it hoping it would all just go away.

Later that evening John was watching TV with his mother. Once again he felt the urge to pee. This time it was strong and sudden. Knowing he was in dire straits he started to get up. But it was already too late. He had no control over the flow of pee. He was soon sitting in a puddle.

Karen came into the living-room with two mugs of hot cocoa in her hands. The first thing she noticed was the look of horror on her son's face. Then she saw his wet pants. Her first thought was that he needed her more than she ever imagined.

She walked over to him and knelt down. He rose to his knees and hugged her, crying on her shoulder.

"There, there, honey. It's not your fault."

She patted his back. Suddenly she knew that she had to follow her instinct. "Honey, do you want me to take care of this?"

The words were somewhat cryptic but John grasped their subtle meaning. He nodded. She took his hand and led him upstairs into the bathroom. She put the plug into the tubs drain and began running warm water.

"Just sit down, baby," she said, removing his shoes and socks after he complied. She then had him stand up and removed his wet pants and underwear. Soon he was completely undressed. "Now get in the tub."

John got in the tub still sniffing and gulping. His mother wet a washcloth and began gently rubbing his back.

"There now, everything is going to be just fine. Just sit there and you'll be all clean and feel much better."

Soon he began to calm down. His despair began to melt as he listened to his mother's soft word they grew into an indistinct lull.

After he got out of the bath she wrapped a towel around him and dried him off. "Its pretty late so I think I'll get I'll just get you ready for bed now."

John followed her into his room with only a towel to cover him. As she gathered his diaper supplies he laid down on his bed. She applied diaper cream, powdered him and taped him up in a diaper. She selected the cutest PJs she could find and helped him into them.

"Now lets go watch some TV before bed, OK?"

It was odd walking with a diaper on for the first time he could remember, but there was also a feeling of contentment that came from being freshly scrubbed and diapered The PJs he was wearing were rather thin though and on this chilly night he soon grew cold.

Karen noticed his shivering. She went to the closet and took out a blanket. "John, honey, are you cold?"

"Yeah."

"Well, come over here."

She wrapped him tightly in the blanket and pulled him across her lap. After a moment of surprise, John simply smiled and rested his head on her shoulder. After a while a thought occurred to him. He knew it was odd but it somehow made sense.

"Mom?" he said.

"Yes honey?"

"Would it be alright if I called you 'mommy' again?"

"Of course it would," she grinned. She was a mommy again.

"OK mommy," John said. He settled his head back down on his mommy's shoulder and closed his eyes. Before long he drifted off to sleep.

Part 5

Karen held the boy in her arms softly humming a lullaby. He was so little for his age, his peers where beginning to look like adolescence but he still looked every bit a child. His voice was still soft and sweet. To hear it say "mommy" made her heart melt. If there was anyway to freeze this moment in time she would.

She gently roused him and led him to bed by the hand. Listening to the frigid blasts of wind whistling outside she tucked him in tightly in his warm bed. "Goodnight, sweetheart," she said and kissed him on the forehead.

"Good night, mommy," he said before quickly falling back into his sound sleep.

The clock-radio buzzed to life at its usual six o'clock. The news crackled through the aging speakers. "...road closures due to last night's snow storm have forced area schools to close. Elsewhere in the county..." Karen clicked it off. She thought John needed a vacation anyway.

She went downstairs and made herself a pot of coffee. She'd let him sleep in today. She sat and read the paper feeling perfectly disconnected from the turmoil that exited outside her home. Her boy was safe at home still in diapers with a loving mommy to look after him. There was nothing to worry about out there.

After she was finished with the paper she walked back upstairs and woke John up.

"No school today, the snow closed it down."

That was an incredible relief for John. He didn't want to go back to school the day after he'd wet his pants in front of everyone. Without saying a word his mommy slid down his PJs and removed his diaper. He started to get out of bed.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said as she took a fresh diaper from the package "I want you to wear diapers during the day for right now. Yesterday didn't go very well. I just don't want to take any chances."

He was slightly embarrassed but he knew that she knew what was best. He lay back down on his bed and was soon diapered again.

"Since you had a bath last night I don't think I'll bathe you right now," she said as she dressed him for the day. "Come on, I'll make you some breakfast."

They went downstairs and Karen cooked up a nice breakfast for the two of them.

"So, do you want to go out in the snow?"

John did, of course. He loved snowball fights as much as any other kid. But he worried that his diaper might be discovered, or worse yet, it might leak.

"No I think I'll just stay inside for right now."

"I understand. How about a game of checkers?"

It had been quite a few years since John had played anything with his mommy. He thought it sounded better than watching TV.

Karen sat and played with her little boy. The rustle of his diaper and the fresh scent of his baby powder reminded her of when was just a baby.

"You're a pretty cute little guy, you know?" she said.

John blushed. "Thanks." He paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, mommy."

"Sorry about what, honey?"

"I'm sorry that you have to change my diapers and everything."

"Honey, I'll always be happy to do whatever you need. That's what I'm here for. You may think this is crazy, but I sort of like it this way."

John was a bit taken aback. He never thought she might have actually enjoyed this. "I kind of like it, too. Sometimes I kind of miss being a little kid, you know?"

Karen grinned at him and gave him a pat on the head. "I understand baby, I understand."

Part 6

It was nearly noon and John was lying on the couch watching cartoons. He became dimly aware of a need to empty his bladder. He could barely even think about his when pee began to flow into his diaper. At first he was shocked, but then he realized that his diaper had done its job. He now knew just how badly he needed diapers. He had no more control over his bladder than the toddlers his Pampers were intended for. His mommy had made the right decision for him.

He went into the kitchen. "Mommy?" the words caught in his throat, but then he thought about how she had cared for him these past few days and he knew it was safe to say them "Will you change me?"

"Of course, baby. Just let me get everything."

John started up the stairs but his mommy called to him "I have some of the stuff down here. There's no reason I can't change you down here and it will be more convenient during the day."

John walked back into the living room as his mother was laying out a changing pad. "Just lay down here."

As she was removed John's soaked diaper she talked to him. "I think I'm going to pull you out of school for a little while and home-school you. I just want to be sure that your OK while you have this problem. Would that be OK?"

John understood. If he was going to have to wear diapers like a baby he would have to stay home with his mommy like a baby. He smiled, he was finally getting out of having to go to school."

"Yes mommy, that's OK."

Karen finished taping the new diaper place. "That's great, I'll get the paperwork tomorrow. Now how about some lunch?"

The day went by lazily. John grew bored and got some old toys from the back of his closet. While Karen worked at the computer he was in the next room playing with his Hot Wheels. His concern for even paying attention to his bladder faded further and further. The next time he needed to go he didn't even try to hold it he just it go. He was lovingly changed and went back to playing.

That night Karen walked into his room. "Bath time," she said and instructed John to sit on his bed. She undressed him, removed his diaper, and led him down the hall to the bathroom. She started the water and added some bubble bath. She gave John a playful slap on his butt as he stepped into the tub and began scrubbing him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Karen was amazed at how just a little bit of motherly love had brought at the baby in John. He was perfectly happy to allow her to dress him, bathe him, and change his diapers. She wondered how far she could take it and an idea occurred to her.

"I have to go to the store tomorrow. Do you want to make a day out of it?"

John knew we was going have to leave the house with his diaper on someday. He just didn't want to do it so soon.

"Oh baby, I'll make sure no one knows you're wearing a diaper. We'll just go out and have some fun. OK?"

John nodded and smiled. She smiled back and when she had her little boy thoroughly scrubbed she got him out the bath and dried him.

Back in his room she put a fresh diaper on him on got him in his PJs. Then she left the room and came back with the rocking chair from the next room. She beside the bed and sat down. "Now come here, baby."

John climbed into his mommy's lap and got comfortable. Karen grabbed a book from the top of the dresser. "I thought you might like a little story before bedtime."

John closed his eyes as he listened to his mommy read from an old book of fairy tales. It was warm and safe in his mommy's arms. He hoped that this would become the nightly ritual he dimly remembered from long ago. He slowly drifted off to sleep somewhere in the middle of Jack and the Beanstalk.

Karen quietly closed the book and set it down on the dresser. She lifted her boy into bed, she surprised by how light he was. She could almost carry him like an infant. She pulled the covers across him quietly made her way out of the room.

The next morning John was woken up changed out of his wet diaper and into a new one. After breakfast Karen put on his shoes and coat and got him ready to go out for the day. She even grabbed a few diapers and stuck them in her purse.

Their first stop was the zoo. Since it was the middle of the day on a weekday the zoo was filled with mother's taking their small children to see the animals. It occurred to John that he was just another baby going to the park with his mommy. The thought occurred to Karen too who felt a special kinship with the other mommies.

There was a slight crinkle as John walked and he smelled faintly of baby powder. It wasn't anything very noticeable. Except that maybe, on a subconscious level, it made others perceive him as babyish.

"Mommy, can you notice?" John whispered when he saw that no one else was within earshot.

"No, baby. I'm sure I'm the only one who knows."

After the zoo they decided to head to the mall. John always enjoyed going the arcade and looking at video games. But he was beginning to worry how long he could keep his diapers secret.

Part 7

On the way to the mall Karen pulled into a little coffee shop. "I think we ought to get a little bit of lunch before we get the mall. The food court is always so crowded."

Inside they sat down, John ordered a burger off the children's menu, something he hadn't done in a while. They sat and they talked for a while until something struck John as funny. He laughed long and hard until a quick trickle of pee streamed into his diaper.

Karen could tell something was wrong. She leaned across the table and whispered, "Did you wet?" John nodded. She unzipped her purse where she'd stashed some diapers and started to get up.

"Come on. I think there's a couch in the women's room. I'll just..."

While John had come to accept being diapered at home, he was still to embarrassed to be changed in public.

"No, mommy," John whispered, "it's just a little wet."

"OK, I suppose you can wait a little while. But you can't just run around in a soaking diaper"

John breathed a sigh of relief. They finished their meal and headed for the mall.

As they walked through the parking lot Karen explained to John that she was going to pick up a few things.

"Now honey I want you to stay with me for a while, I'll need you to try on a few things." John wasn't really interested in going to the arcade in his diapers. So he was happy to stay with his mommy.

Once inside Karen made a run by the baby department. She realized she would need diaper bag eventually. John was horrified, but he knew he couldn't protest out loud or people would know who the bag was meant for.

"I'm sorry hon, but I need to be able to carry things. I don't have room for it all in my purse. I'll just buy one that no one would notice." And she did finally choose a plain blue one. She didn't want her little boy to be embarrassed. But she was proud of what a good mommy she was. In a way she hoped that other mommies would recognize the bag for what it was. She knew any mommy would understand.

She looked over a display of cribs there was a particularly large one sale. She could almost see John sleeping in it in a little sleeper. But she quickly tried to put the image out of her mind. "He doesn't need that," she told herself. "He's not really a baby." But she also realized that only a few days ago she would have thought the same thing about diapers. She made up her mind to pick up a catalogue of baby items just in case.

John tried to ignore the sea of baby items he found himself in. Somehow the world seemed bigger than it had before. Here he was a little boy in a diaper in a great big store. He saw his mommy looking at a crib that could have held him if things somehow came to that. He followed along behind her taking in the bigness of it all.

Then he felt a trickle, he was once again wetting his diaper and was barely aware of it. He could feel the wetness spread to the edges of his diaper and then felt a trickle down his leg. In horror he looked down and saw that the diaper had developed a very visible leak.

He tapped his mother on her back to get her attention. They had to walk all the way across the store to get to a restroom. Luckily the store was nearly empty and John was reasonably sure no one saw him and his leaky diaper.

There was a couch in this restroom which Karen instructed her wet little child to lie on. She quickly got him out of his soaked pants and had him powdered and in a fresh diaper in record time. "I'll have to put these new pants I got on you," She explained as she pulled them up to his waist and buttoned them.

They left the restroom without anyone having seen what happened and went to pay for their purchases. "I need to pay for the pair of pants my son is wearing," She explained to the clerk. She leaned over the counter and whispered "He had a little accident in the store and I needed to get him into something dry."

"Oh, I understand," said the clerk and she gave John the friendly little smile one gives small children. John wasn't as embarrassed by this as he would have expected. He actually kind thought that if he was just diaper boy with his mommy then maybe he didn't have to worry so much about being cool. He found himself smiling back at her.

Part 8

"I have just one more thing to get. I think I know where to find it," Karen said as she slung John's newly purchased diaper bag over her shoulder. She led John over to another store and to a display of car seats. "They say that kids under 80 pounds should sit in a booster seat," she explained.

There were dozens of models to choose from. One in particular caught her eye. It was high-backed and had it's own belt, it was almost indistinguishable from a car seat one would put a toddler in. A clerk noticed her browsing and came over.

"That seat you're looking at is usually considered the safest," he said. "Most of the booster seats just raise the child high enough to make an adult seatbelt fit. But that's not always the best solution; you can adjust these straps to fit your child."

Karen was convinced. She'd known it would it would be the best from the moment she laid eyes on it. She paid for it and they made their way back to the car. John was a bit stunned by the whole incident. He knew was small for his age, but he never dreamed that he'd be required to be treated like a little kid because of it. But he heard his diaper crinkle underneath his clothes and decided he had little room to protest.

Karen installed the seat and told John to climb into it so he could be buckled in. Once he was seated she reached in and brought the straps down across his body and fasten the buckle into it's place between his legs she made some adjustments and when she was satisfied that he was secure she patted him on the head. "Thanks for being so understanding about this honey."

In all of these past few days John had never felt quite as babyish as he did while he rode in the back of his mommy's car in his car seat. But he'd never felt so safe, either. He recognized a desire to be babied. He liked the attention he was getting, and he enjoyed the bonding. Whatever resistance he had left to it diminished every time his mommy would lovingly remove one of his cold wet diapers and put him in a nice fresh one.

Once they were back home Karen thought that John might need a nap. "Baby, you've had a pretty long day I think you should have a little nap." John did feel a little tired so he agreed and followed his mommy to his room.

"Now, do you need a change before I put you down for your nap?" Karen asked. John shook his head. "OK then, I think I'll let you just sleep in your diaper then." She stripped him down to his diaper and put her finger in his leg band to make sure they were dry. Satisfied that he didn't need a change she pulled back the covers of his bed.

"I'll be up to get you in an hour or so." She said as she patted his bottom. John climbed underneath the covers and she kissed him on the forehead.

"Just try rest, baby." She said as she closed the door.

Karen headed downstairs and put John's soaked pants in the wash. Then she heard the doorbell ring. When she answered it she saw Prof. Moullier at the door. "Oh what a pleasant surprise, please come in," she said.

"You were just so kind to me a few days ago that I thought I'd bring a few things by. I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Said Prof. Moullier.

The two of then talked a bit and Prof. Moulier asked how John was doing.

"Well," answered Karen "It's the strangest thing, he just started wetting the bed. I took him to the doctor and he had no idea what was causing it. Then he started wetting during the day, too. I have him in diapers all the time now."

"That sounds like quite a bit of extra work."

"It is, but I've kind of been enjoying it. I think he needs a little babying. He even started calling me 'mommy' again. And every night I get to get him all ready for bed and tuck him in. I never thought I'd be able to do this again."

"Ah, I can see you're a good mother. I had a feeling that might be the case. In fact I got something for John based on what you told me the other day." She got a teddy-bear out of her purse. "I'm probably just a silly old lady but I thought..."

"He used to have one just like that. It got lost years ago. I'm sure he'll love it."

Prof. Moullier explained she had somewhere else to be and Karen saw her out the door and thanked her for the visit and the teddy-bear. Then she went upstairs to get John up from his nap.

"You can get up now, honey. Did you have a good rest?"

"Yes, mommy."

"Good. You're probably wet by now." She pulled down the sheet and check his diaper. "Yep, let's get you into a nice dry one." She got a new diaper and some powder. "I just talked with that nice lady who just moved in. She dropped off a gift for you, it's just a little something. But it's downstairs."

"It's not too cold today, would like just wear your diaper until bedtime?"

John thought about it for a second and decided there was no reason not to. He just nodded as his mommy taped his diaper in place.

"And how about some milk and cookies?"

"Yes, please, mommy."

John followed back down stairs. In the living room he saw the teddy-bear waiting for him. He knew immediately that this was just like the teddy-bear he used to have. He remembered having it with him all the time. Until he had to go to school anyway. After a while he forgot about it and it was lost.

Karen walked into the living room with a plate of cookies and a mug of milk. She saw her son looking at the bear sitting on the coffee table. "It's OK if you want to hold a teddy-bear honey." She said.

John grinned and tucked his teddy beneath his arms and sat down to enjoy his milk and cookies and watch TV. Karen sat down to fold some laundry. She watched her little boy sit in his diaper watching cartoons and enjoying milk and cookies while he cuddled his new teddy. All he needed was a little babying and he was ready to give up all his pretensions of being grown up. She knew she'd done the right thing by putting him back in diapers.

By 9:00 she could tell he was getting tired in spite of his nap. "OK, it's just about bedtime. Let's get you ready."

"But I took a nap today. Can't I stay up later?"

"I can tell you're tired. Besides I think would be a good idea if had a nap and an early bedtime for a while."

John knew better than argue with mommy, so he went up to the bathroom with her to get his bath.

Karen started giving John his bath.

"So, do you like your new teddy?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"That was awfully nice of her to do that."

She finished and got him out of the tub and dried him off. Then she took him to his bedroom to diaper and dress him.

"I got you some new PJs while we were out," she said as she held up a footed sleeper. It was powder blue with bunnies all over it. "Do you want to try these out tonight?"

John looked at the very babyish PJs that his mommy wanted to put him in. He actually thought they looked comfy. "OK mommy" he said.

Karen slipped his legs and arms into the new sleeper and zipped it up in back. "You look adorable."

John smiled. It was soft and warm, and he liked that his mommy thought he was cute in it.

Karen sat down in the rocker with a storybook. John grabbed his teddy and she lifted him into her lap. As he sat cuddling in his mommy's lap listening to her read him a story he looked at his teddy. It brought out dim, far away memories of when he'd been a real baby. He'd always sort of missed being little. And he was really enjoying being a baby again. But for some reason he wouldn't allow himself to truly relax and enjoy it. But as he looked at his bear he knew that this was all meant to be. He was finally able to relax and simply be his mommy's baby. He started to slip off into his sleep. But before he fell asleep, without really thinking about it, he put his thumb in his mouth. Before the story was finished he was soundly asleep.

Part 9

Karen sat and watched her son sleep soundlessly as he sucked his thumb. This scene had played itself out many times years ago. After he had a nice warm bath and got put in a clean pair of PJs john had always fell easily to sleep, always with a thumb, or a pacifier, or a bottle in his mouth.

He'd never really been too different from that little baby, she thought. He'd always needed her to take care of him in some ways. He needed her to drive him places, and depended on her to do so safely. He could certainly never get ready in the morning without prodding and occasional assistance. The helpless baby was never too far beneath the surface.

Which may have been why they both fell back into this routine so easily. So this return to thumbsucking shouldn't have been such a surprise at all. As sweet as it was, she worried a bit about it. When he was little she insisted that he use a pacifier. She wondered if she'd have to insist on it again. But she didn't worry for long. She pick up her little boy and put him in his bed. She covered him with his sheets and kissed his forehead. Before turning out the light she tucked his teddy in beside him. Half- aware of what was going on, he hugged his bear and fell back sleep.

John came drowsily awake. He stretched his legs and felt the legs of his PJs stretch along with him. He was reminded of the sleeper he was wearing. He rolled over and cuddled his bear and simply took in the coziness of it all. He could smell his mommy's morning coffee, and through the crisp morning silence he could hear her stirring milk and sugar into her first cup. He knew she would soon be up to change his diaper and get him ready for the day.

He closed his eyes and felt totally relaxed. It was beginning to dawn on him that for at least a while he'd be spared the travails of adolescence. He had never had the burning desire his friends had to end his childhood. It was fine with him, he preferred it, in fact, if he could just settle down for a while and be little. Not necessarily forever, just for now.

Eventually his door opened on his mommy stepped in. "Are you awake honey?"

"Yes."

"Well let's get you changed then."

She pulled down his covers as John rolled back over. She began unsnapping his sleeper between his legs. John wondered where she had gotten these clothes, he'd been with her all day at the store and hadn't seen them. But he decided it was nothing to worry about. "This will make it much easier to change you in the mornings," she said as she began to untape his soggy diaper. She reached into the bag of Pampers which had taken a place on John's dresser.

"Wow, you've really been going through diapers. I'm going to have to get some more soon." She slid the new diaper under his powdered behind and taped it in place.

"I'm going to leave you in your PJs for a little while. Now let's go downstairs and get some breakfast."

John stepped into the kitchen, instead of the cold tile he was accustomed to he felt the footed bottom of his warm sleeper. He sat at the table and his mommy poured him cereal and a glass of milk.

Karen sat down with her paper and cup of coffee. She could smell the fresh scent of baby powder and hear her son's diaper rustle. She knew he'd need another change, or maybe a cuddle sometime soon. And she nothing made her happier than taking care of her baby the way she thought he needed to be cared for. She hadn't been ready to raise a teenager and she was happy to take this little pause.

After breakfast John went into the living room and turned on the TV. His mom poked her head into the living room "Be good and stay put, I'm going to take a shower. I'll be back to get you ready in a minute."

When she returned she took John's hand and led him up to his room. She unzipped his sleeper and pulled it off him briefly pausing to check him for wetness. She got his clothes pulled his pants into place, put on his shirt and buttoned it. Then she took him into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet. "Let's see if we can make your hair look a little better." She picked up a comb and combed his hair into a nice boy's style. There was no flair at the front of his head, His hair was evenly combed with a neat part down the middle. She stood back to admire her work and smiled, it made her already youthful looking boy look several years younger. "Cute." She said and let John go back downstairs to his cartoons.

She gave him a playful slap on his butt as he ran past her and watched him toddle back down the stairs. He was getting cuter everyday she thought. But still she thought she ought to take him to see the pediatrician once more. Reluctantly, she made another call and arranged an appointment.

Rate this story... Really bad | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Fantastic (currently 3 out of 5)